doing things the hard way

I have never really been a fan of doing things the hard way, but I seem to have often been an unwitting disciple of this method of living.

Case in point: all my complaining about banking in the Netherlands.

Turns out, I just tried the wrong bank at the wrong time (ING before I had all my residence documents in order) and then the wrong bank - or at least the wrong snooty customer service representative at the wrong bank - at the right time (Rabobank). After hearing of the seemingly miraculous feat of a fellow Canuck researcher getting an account at ING, I thought I would try again for myself. So, today I had an appointment at ABN-AMRO and walked away, after only 6 months of living in the Netherlands and 45 minutes of sitting in a bank office, with my very own Dutch bank account!

So simple. So friendly. So easy. Damn.

I can't help but scold myself for not just walking out of the Rabobank and down the street to another banking institution to try again all those months ago. (October, I think.)

However, this experience in the school of hard knocks - fieldwork edition, has made me think about taking people at their word. The snooty Rabobank guy assured me that I was out of luck if I wanted a bank account in this country, since I do not have either a university- or work-contract. As a person in a position of some authority, a seeming expert on the area of banks and such, I believed him. Of course, now I know he wasn't really correct. And I am reminded of all the anecdotes from my long ago methods courses detailing the perils of not getting a second (and third and fouth...) opinion. While the logic in this has undoubtedly always been in the back of my mind, I think that I needed this experience to kind of remind me not to be stupid or naive, and to get multiple views on the subject before thinking I know all about it. (I'm an anthropologist, for crying out loud! Isn't this kind of what we're supposed to do?!)

On the other hand, I think I am in good company since the school of hard knocks seems to kind of be the norm around here. At least, as far as my observations of Dutch parenting compared to contemporary North American parenting are concerned. From what I can tell, Dutch kids today are treated kind of the way that my parents talk about their childhoods: if they are going to do something stupid, and if they get hurt, then they will learn not to do it again. (Not to mention the old adage "Wie niet horen wil, moet voelen." In English "who doesn't want to listen, must feel" - roughly akin to the more familiar English "If you don't listen, you're gonna get it.") My experience growing up was a bit different. If it looked like we (my brother, sister or I) were going to do something stupid or unsafe, for the most part, an adult would stop us, tell us we would get hurt, and that we needed to be more careful. Now, I'm not saying that we never did stupid and potentially dangerous things growing up, but I think that the culturally, expectations for parents to guard their kids against all kind of physical, emotional and every other kind of potential danger are much more heightened in North America than here.

Take for example, the reaction of my brother when he visited me in September. On the Museumplein there is a great big sign with the slogan "I amsterdam." The letters are probably about 8 feet high, and understandably tempting to climb all over. In fact, I don't think I have ever seen it without children climbing on it. But, when my brother saw a little girl standing fearlessly on top of the 'd' he was incredulous! she was going to get hurt! Where were her parents? He was really not impressed. While to me, it had become normal to see this, his reaction reminded me that things were very different where we came from. In Canada, it would be, I think, considered irresponsible and a mark of bad parenting to let your kid climb on an 8-foot high 'd'. In Canada, there would at least be a sign saying "climb at your own risk." But maybe having to take account of yourself, even at a young age, is a good thing.

As painful as it can be, I think the fieldwork process is a little bit like growing up all over again, just this time in the Netherlands. So, when in Amsterdam...